At some point...
You'll have to attend your first
Baby Shower
after losing your baby.
Attending your first Baby Shower after losing your baby is just so, so hard. However, receiving an invitation is inevitable.
It is important to note, that it is ABSOLUTELY okay to NOT ATTEND a baby shower if you are not yet ready.
You can be happy for them and also not attend. Seriously. It’s okay.
If you decide to attend, here are a few tips to help out!
If you don’t want to talk about your baby be prepared to say things like. “I appreciate your thoughtfulness, but today is Susie’s day and I’d really like to focus on her.”
Tell someone to tell everyone that you do not wish to discuss your loss at the shower.
When RSVPing let the host and Susie know that you are so happy to be included and are so happy for her, but there is a possibility that you may be triggered and have to leave abruptly.
Wear some jewelry or have something in your pocket to fidget with to help you feel closer to your baby and help if you start to feel restless. (Handheld hugs are great for this!)
Be prepared that you will NOT know what gifts will be opened. As the gifts are being opened you may be triggered by things you have for your baby or things you imagined having for your baby.
Have someone not in attendance at the shower “on call” in case you need to send an SOS text or need some words of support.
Park in a place where you are not “blocked in” and can leave if you need to.
Find a room or location at the venue/house where you can go to be by yourself in case you need a moment to breathe.
Find your “people” after the shower and have a good cry for your baby.
Breathe in and out knowing that you made it through your first baby shower.
What other suggestions do you have? What has worked for you? Tell me in the comments!
Edit: Some additional thoughts since original post!
Sometimes the anxiety leading up to the event is worse than the event itself. (I hope this will be true for you!)
This may sound silly, but don’t forget to eat and hydrate before you go. You don’t know if you’ll like the food there, or you may want to avoid a buffet table, etc, etc.
