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Disclaimer: I am not a writer and am not pretending to be.  These are my ramblings. =)

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Stages of Grief?  NOPE.

Normal process for Grief?  NOPE.

You can expect “x”, “y”, “z” from Grief?  NOPE.

So what is it?  How do we define Grief?

We can’t, because it’s totally different for every person.  For that same person grief is different every day.

People who try to define it are usually full of shit.

 

Grief is completely different for everyone.

Grief never stops.  Love never stops.

Grief is LOVE.

 

Grief is puzzling.

Grief is puzzling.

We continue to try to make sense of our grief.  Why did this happen to me?  Why couldn’t my baby be allowed to live?

We have expectations of the world.  Losing a baby was not in our plan, it is not ‘how the story goes’, it is not ‘what is supposed to happen.’

Our minds and hearts can’t make sense of it….. but they keep trying.

We look for medical reasons and/or spiritual reasons thinking those answers will bring us comfort (and maybe they do for some!).

We feel guilty – as if we caused it or deserved it somehow.  All with the purpose of trying to make sense of the unimaginable truth we are living.

Guess what?  There is no good reason that we lost our babies.

I did nothing wrong.  You did nothing wrong.

I don’t deserves this.  You don’t deserve this.

It will not make sense.

It will not make sense.

No.

Sense.

 

There is Hope.

Grief is different for everyone.  What helps me find peace may be different than what helps you find peace.  Even though this is true, it doesn’t mean that you should just give up.

The reality is that you may not even know what will bring you peace or comfort!!

Try different things!  Reach out to others, reach out to me, check out some of my ideas are here.

What has worked for you recently?  Let me know in the comments.

You will start to figure out your new life with grief… it’s just a very bumpy and unpredictable road.

Sending you big virtual hugs.

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